there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have fence marks all over my body
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
