I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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