Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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