Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
