she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
