Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
