problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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