My liver just broke up with me...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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