I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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