okay pat passed out under dana's car
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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