She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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