Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
