omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
