Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
