Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
