walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
