you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
