Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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