Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
