There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
