summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
