I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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