i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
