just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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