Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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