ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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