you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
