I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
