I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
