ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he thought i was a dude.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
