My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
