My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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