He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
