I think i peed on brittanys purse
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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