Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
