You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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