come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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