You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
