a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
