I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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