You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
