maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
