This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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