I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
