I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
