Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize