So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
