is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
