I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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