So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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