chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
