woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
