oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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