where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
