Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
