why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
